The Center Seat

Watch the trailer, then let me know what you think by answering the poll on the right.



Update: Upon poll closing, 70% of you answered "Ohmygod, I can't wait!", and 30% of you said you "needed to know more". Nobody said "No freaking way". So the buzz seems to be "for"... we'll have to see what happens. I'll probably check it out.

Keeping in mind that Pistola is deeply in love with her boyfriend, and that I am fabulously in like with Nathaniel, and hoping that you'll receive this with the self-deprecating and ironic spirit that we intend: Pistola and I have decided that relationships are for bitches.

Maybe it's because Nathaniel and I had an AMAZING DATE last night, or maybe it's just because I'm intrinsically a big giant sap... but EW's list of 25 Most Romantic Gestures in Film got me all gushy today.

My favorite romantic gestures on EW's list are the ones from Moulin Rouge!, Brokeback Mountain, Once, and The Wedding Singer... but I felt there were several glaring omissions from my own romantic movie canon:

1. Forgetting Sarah Marshall: Peter retrieves the topless photo of Rachel from the men's bathroom at the bar, knowing full well that in doing so he'll get the crap beaten out of him.
2. Never Been Kissed: Sam publicly forgives Josie and demonstrates his love with a full makeout session on the pitcher's mound of a packed baseball stadium.
3. Love Actually: Jamie learns to speak Portuguese... poorly... and flies to Portugal to propose to Aurelia, with whom he's never actually had a real conversation. (Meanwhile, she's also learned to speak English... poorly.)
4. Somewhere In Time: Richard falls in love with a woman in an old painting... and goes back in time to woo her.
5. Walk the Line: Johnny proposes to June on stage, mid-song, and won't take no for an answer.
6. City of Angels: Seth renounces his immortality and becomes human so that he can be with Maggie.
   

Your turn... ...Click here for the rest of this tasty post.

So I was watching Freaky Friday on "The Wonderful World of Disney" tonight* and the Disney people took the opportunity to relentlessly plug their upcoming film, Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

Unfortunately, it only confirmed my initial instinct about this movie... it's just a big vapid animal stunt. 100 dogs manipulated by CGI + tired, exploitative jokes + the voices of George Lopez and Drew Barrymore = a big fat WHO CARES?

With all respect to costars Barrymore, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Piper Perabo (all of whom I love), I'm thinking that if you're over the age of six, you really need to find something better to do with your $9. There's a recession on. Use the cash for something worthwhile... if you're taking the kids out, go see WALL-E again.

*Yeah. In my pj's. With a big bowl of mac and cheese. That's how I roll.

Remember when you were a little kid, and you got in an argument with a playground rival, and there came a point when you resorted to sticking your fingers in your ears and yelling "La, la, la, la, la..." at the top of your lungs?

I'm nearly 30, and I've found myself doing that repeatedly over the last week or so.

This is the problem. Nathaniel. He's so great. We're going to see The Dark Knight on Sunday at noon. Now, those of you who know me even a little bit can see right away how much I like this guy... otherwise, there's no way in hell I'd wait so long to see a movie that's so highly anticipated, and so much of a sure thing, on top of essentially being Heath Ledger's swan song. But I am waiting--and I don't mind--except...

Except that The Dark Knight is EVERYWHERE. A quick search of my Google Reader reveals no less than 121 Batman-related items. That's thanks, in large part, to Big Mike's Movie Blog, which has been running a Batman Blogathon (if you're not at a Batman overload stage, you really should check him out; he's a fantastic blogger), though everyone's been hyping it up, from Slate to EW. (I'm actually adding to the hype too, huh? Irony. Hm.)

I'm one of those people who would prefer to have absolutely no information prior to a movie viewing; too much hype can kill my enjoyment of a film. So I've been avoiding Batman like he's the Ebola virus, but since this is such a monstrous story, that's damn near impossible.

Yesterday I was watching "The Today Show" in bed, as per my usual routine, when they announced they were going to review The Dark Knight in the next segment. Groaning, I dragged my ass out of bed and went into the bathroom. I turned on my radio, and my favorite morning people were--you guessed it--discussing The Dark Knight. Ugh. I got ready for work in silence. It was maddening, to say the least.

So it's Friday, and The Dark Knight is actually in theaters. Now I have to avoid friends as well as media, and all my favorite bloggers... until Sunday. I suppose I could sneak into a theater and see it early... but, no, I can't do that. Nathaniel reads this blog (hi, cutie), so he would know. And I really am looking forward to seeing a fantastic movie with an equally fantastic guy. I don't know, maybe a little self-denial is good for me?

And of course you know as soon as I've seen it, Batman will be splashed all over this blog too. So I don't know what my point is. Maybe I just needed to whine a bit. ...Click here for the rest of this tasty post.

A friend of mine forwarded this to me today. Apparently WALL-E has pissed off some right-wingers with its environmental message (how awful!) and "fascist elements" (like EVE getting in touch with her emotions).

Good God. I'm honestly having a hard time figuring out how these people think they have a leg to stand on.

Give me strength.

I've heard a few people wonder about the validity of nostalgia for the mid-1990s. It doesn't seem all that long ago. I was in high school. I'm not so much older than that now, am I? In reality, 1994 (when The Wackness takes place) was a full fourteen years ago. I've long since figured out that as I get older, time will pass at an increasingly freakish rate. Seriously. Think about this: September 11, 2001 was almost 7 years ago. There are tee-ball players and cookie-selling Girl Scouts (ok, Brownies) who weren't even around when the towers fell.

Right. Enough with the random rambling.

The Wackness is a passable movie with a few really sweet spots. When it wasn't busy relying on "remember when" moments (remember Forrest Gump? remember Giuliani? remember when we didn't all have cell phones?), it reminded me what it really felt like to be a teenager in (puppy) love for the first time. The film very effectively recalls the alternating feelings of head-spinning exhilaration, and terror of rejection.

I suppose it was more powerful for me, as I'm in a new relationship at the moment. Like the kids in the movie, I've got all these crazy feelings swirling around... crippling fear, blinding hope, constant curiosity, delightful discovery... you get the picture. And The Wackness does a great job of playing on those feelings, contrasting the dead marriage of Ben Kingsley and Famke Janssen with the heady infatuation of Josh Peck and Olivia Thirlby. I've been in both those situations, and I've experienced that whole range of feelings: depressing lows and dizzying highs. Frankly, thinking about it makes me want to take a nap.

Here's hoping I wake up somewhere in the middle. ...Click here for the rest of this tasty post.

As we all know, a movie's ending is critical. There's nothing worse than being captured by a seemingly fantastic movie, only to be let down in the end by a major cop-out of a finale.

So Entertainment Weekly (aka The Keepers of the Lists) came out with this slideshow, "20 Movie Endings We Love." I'm thinking certain filmmakers should be rounded up and forced to watch these selections. Anyone know who I'm thinking of?

My favorites are The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Lost in Translation. Comments, please.

Generally, when a trailer is overplayed on TV, it makes my teeth hurt. And the spot for Pineapple Express, Judd Apatow's new stoner flick, has certainly been running ad nauseum. So why is it that every time I see it, I start vibrating in anticipation?

Check it out. It's set to open August 8.

The Stone Angel opens tomorrow in six theaters around the country. So if you don't live within movie-watching distance of Edina, MN; Los Angeles, CA; Encino, CA; Pasadena, CA; New York, NY; or Bethesda, MD... I guess you're out of luck. No word yet on a wide release.

I do think it's one to keep your eye on, though... I'll lay down modest odds that we'll see an Oscar nod for Ellen Burstyn. More on that in a bit.

First, the movie. I was lucky enough to score an advance screening last night; in all honesty, I kept flashing back to Fried Green Tomatoes. The formula is familiar: Meet old person. Old person has dithering family. Old person has dismal living situation. Oh, but look at this flashback. Old person used to be young and feisty. Old person used to have lots of sex.

Overall, it was pretty depressing, and a bit predictable. I did enjoy Fried Green Tomatoes once upon a time; unfortunately, The Stone Angel substitutes empty sexuality for true warmth, and pithy wit in the place of genuine joy.

The one redeeming factor in this movie is Ellen Burstyn, the aforementioned old person. She gets all the great lines (some of them really are fantastic), and it's obviously intended as an Oscar vehicle for her. Nothing wrong with that. Her performance is impeccable, and I'd be surprised to see her snubbed.

It's just... I forget... entertainment is supposed to be entertaining, right? ...Click here for the rest of this tasty post.

Two posts on the same feature, in the same day. Not my usual M.O., but this festering turd couldn't be ignored. A big thank you to Fletch for tipping me off on this stunner, coming to a not-so-discriminating theater near you this August. The premise: three flies become stowaways on the Apollo 11 mission to the moon. *Yawn* Oh, sorry.

Among the myriad reasons you should skip this one:

1. As many have noted, the three flies seem to be Alvin and the Chipmunks reincarnated, complete with Simon's round glasses. People, the actual Alvin and the Chipmunks movie sucked donkey balls. What makes you think a ripoff of our favorite trio of singing rodents will do any better?
2. The dialogue is atrocious. It seems aimed at your average six-year-old. Simple sentences. Formulaic "hooray!" reactions. Nothing stimulating whatsoever. (I've got nothing against six-year-olds, but the best animated films appeal to all members of the audience.)
3. The quality of the animation...well, is it just me, or did I see this stuff on a straight-to-video release that came free with a Pizza Hut Pepperoni Lovers', circa 1999?
4. It's showing only in 3D. That's going to set you back about $15, folks. Don't do it.

Here's the trailer:

...Click here for the rest of this tasty post.

I actually mulled this one over for a while. The premise had promise, in an absurdist kind of way. I guess I thought there was the chance that it could end up being campy and cool.

So today I watched the trailer and... yeah. It's vapid slapstick. Doesn't seem to be worth the film stock it's shot on.

Decide for yourself (trailer after the jump), but I vote "no".

...Click here for the rest of this tasty post.

Isn't it crazy how life can suck one minute and then be amazing the next?

I had a crappy day yesterday. All kinds of things (budget woes, hair woes, work woes, dating woes) were dragging me down. But in the space of 24 hours...

I'm just so frickin' happy to be alive today:

• As of last night, I'm officially in a bonafide, albeit fledgling, exclusive romantic relationship (I'm sure you'll read more about Nathaniel in future posts).
• As of this morning, work is getting under control.
• As of five minutes ago, I was overwhelmed by some spontaneous raves about this here blog from a respected colleague.

The budget woes and hair woes are still right here looking at me... they're just not so woeful. It's amazing how when a few things go well, all the other stuff doesn't seem so bad.

Captain Crash is leaving me. Good for the swinging bachelorette pad... bad for the swinging bachelorette's budget. I gotta get me one of those part-time job thingies.

Oh, and I suppose I'll miss the big lug...

From the geniuses who brought you Date Movie and Meet the Spartans...

America, wake up! You're making these idiots rich! Stop it! Stop it now!!!