Showing posts with label trailers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trailers. Show all posts

friends won't let friends see... bangkok dangerous

Top 5 reasons to skip this one...

5. That title. Ugh. I can't even type it without a little bile coming up.

4. Have you seen Nic Cage's hair in this one? It's like Billy Mitchell's Jesus hair got together with Tom Hanks' Da Vinci Code mop and made sweet, sweet hair love. In a big puddle of jerry curl.

3. Apparently the Thai movie on which it's based wasn't that good either.

2. They won't screen it for critics. Always a bad sign.

1. This trailer.

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oliver stone's "W": whaddaya think?

Watch the trailer, then let me know what you think by answering the poll on the right.



Update: Upon poll closing, 70% of you answered "Ohmygod, I can't wait!", and 30% of you said you "needed to know more". Nobody said "No freaking way". So the buzz seems to be "for"... we'll have to see what happens. I'll probably check it out.
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this is gonna be sweet

Generally, when a trailer is overplayed on TV, it makes my teeth hurt. And the spot for Pineapple Express, Judd Apatow's new stoner flick, has certainly been running ad nauseum. So why is it that every time I see it, I start vibrating in anticipation?

Check it out. It's set to open August 8.

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friends won't let friends see... fly me to the moon

Two posts on the same feature, in the same day. Not my usual M.O., but this festering turd couldn't be ignored. A big thank you to Fletch for tipping me off on this stunner, coming to a not-so-discriminating theater near you this August. The premise: three flies become stowaways on the Apollo 11 mission to the moon. *Yawn* Oh, sorry.

Among the myriad reasons you should skip this one:
  1. As many have noted, the three flies seem to be Alvin and the Chipmunks reincarnated, complete with Simon's round glasses. People, the actual Alvin and the Chipmunks movie sucked donkey balls. What makes you think a ripoff of our favorite trio of singing rodents will do any better?
  2. The dialogue is atrocious. It seems aimed at your average six-year-old. Simple sentences. Formulaic "hooray!" reactions. Nothing stimulating whatsoever. (I've got nothing against six-year-olds, but the best animated films appeal to all members of the audience.)
  3. The quality of the animation...well, is it just me, or did I see this stuff on a straight-to-video release that came free with a Pizza Hut Pepperoni Lovers', circa 1999?
  4. It's showing only in 3D. That's going to set you back about $15, folks. Don't do it.
Here's the trailer:

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friends won't let friends see... space chimps

I actually mulled this one over for a while. The premise had promise, in an absurdist kind of way. I guess I thought there was the chance that it could end up being campy and cool.

So today I watched the trailer and... yeah. It's vapid slapstick. Doesn't seem to be worth the film stock it's shot on.

Decide for yourself (trailer after the jump), but I vote "no".

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friends won't let friends see... meet dave

I honestly don't think Eddie Murphy actually reads the scripts anymore. Makes me sad, really.

This one looks god-awful. If you're not convinced, watch the trailer after the jump. But don't say I didn't warn you.

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i probably won't see 'house bunny'.

It's not because I don't enjoy a good dumb summer comedy. I do. Matter of fact, the manhole incident on the trailer is pretty damn funny.

It's not because I have a problem with Playboy. I don't. Like many intelligent women my age, I actually enjoy "The Girls Next Door". Go fig.

This is why: It seems to be a makeover movie, and I think I like the "before" better than the "after". House Bunny's basic plot is this: a Playboy Bunny is kicked out of the mansion and decides to become the house mother to a sorority of "losers". Of course, she decides to make the "losers" over in her own image.

But... if the trailer is any indication... the losers are cool. I'd hang out with them. They seem like earthy, intelligent girls with a sense of what makes them unique; unlike the cookie-cutter "after" versions of themselves which the movie cranks out.

Do we have to get rid of our freakishness to be accepted? Honestly, I'm not interested in looking, acting, or thinking like anyone else. I choose to, as Marilyn Ferdinand once suggested, let my freak flag fly. And I want friends (and movie characters) that will do the same.

Check the trailer out, and tell me what you think:

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76 days, 13 hours, 41 minutes

I am totally geeked out for this. I'll be at the midnight show.


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LAMB Devours the Oscars: Best Documentary Short Subject

Best Documentary Short is a frustrating category for me. Like this year's foreign film nominees, these films have not been available to the average viewer who can't make it to the myriad film festivals (Nayana's world tour is still several years away). Therefore, you should maybe keep in mind while reading this that I haven't seen any of these films.

The 2007 nominees for Best Documentary Short Subject are as follows:


1. Freeheld
This is the story of Laurel Hester, a lesbian New Jersey police officer. The 23-year veteran of the Ocean County prosecutor's office contracted an aggressive form of lung cancer, which metastasized and spread to her brain. She spent her last months petitioning her county's board of freeholders to allow her pension to be transferred to her registered domestic partner upon her death (who otherwise would not have been able to stay in their home). If the trailer is any indication, it's a moving, heartbreaking piece. However, while I'm all for GLBT rights, this one frankly looks like a big fat bummer.

2. La Corona
In Colombia, apparently they go crazy for beauty pageants; the national obsession even spills over to the.... prison system? Yep, each cellblock at El Buen Pastor prison gets to nominate their own contestant for the prison's yearly beauty pageant. The women are murderers, armed robbers, you name it... but they're also nationally televised, and critiqued by celebrity judges. According to the Sundance website (it was featured at the Park City, Utah film festival this year), it has moments of humor, as well as sadness. Oh, what the heck. It looks like fun to me.

3. Salim Baba
This is the story of Salim, a 55-year-old man in Kolkata (most of us remember "Calcutta"), India, who supports his wife and five children in a unique way. He splices together discarded scraps of film from movie theaters, as well as trailers and other bits of movies, and shows them on an ancient hand-cranked projector which he inherited from his father. Salim entertains the children of his neighborhood, and apparently makes a living at it; he hopes to leave the projector to his children so that they, too, will have a viable livelihood. There has been a bit of controversy with regard to this particular film: as reported by Vanity Fair, a reporter from a major Indian newspaper claims that Salim, the subject of the film, was misled and underpaid. The charges seem to be without merit, and Salim himself has retracted some of his claims, but the controversy may make Oscar a bit gun-shy with this one.

4. Sari's Mother
One more documentary about Iraq. Yes, Iraq is a disaster; yes, we screwed up; yes, people are suffering; yes, people are dying. But I (and I suspect the Academy) am just so dang tired of thinking about it. All right, with that out of the way: this short focuses on a ten-year-old boy named Sari who contracted AIDS through a blood transfusion. His mother stubbornly, hopefully, and smilingly cares for him and tries to get him treatment, though the healthcare system over there is even more screwed up than our own. *sigh* I suppose I'll watch it. It looks important. But it looks exhausting, too.
Documentaries (especially in our times) so often seem to be downers, don't they? I understand why that is, and I also understand how important documentaries are, especially in rough times like these.... but just because I've got so much outrage fatigue, I'm going for the nominee that looks halfway lighthearted: La Corona. We'll see if the Academy agrees with me.
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cloverfield

I can't handle scary movies. Really, I can't. Horror movies are generally won't-sees for me, and monster movies are borderline. But, come on. It's J.J. Abrams. And with all the hype, how could I not go?

Cloverfield was fucking scary. I'm sure there are a lot tougher moviegoers out there who were not swayed, but I seriously could barely handle it. I was holding on to Captain Crash's right arm throughout the movie, and I think at one point I almost broke it.

The fabulous thing about this movie was the novelty: faces I'd never seen before, a monster I'd never seen before, and none of the usual predictable plot devices. Sure, there was a host of destroyed NYC landmarks, but that's almost de rigeur if there's a monster smashing up Manhattan.

We didn't get much of a backstory (or much of a conclusion, frankly), but that made sense in the framework of the storytelling technique. We are supposedly viewing a government-acquired videotape which was spontaneously recorded by a regular schmoe. The schmoes didn't know the backstory... so we don't know the backstory. Fine.

There was one glaring issue that just about took me out of the story: these people were dumb as falling debris. They did NOT behave as regular people (read: I) would have behaved... The military is evacuating the island, there's a weird-ass monkey-lizard tearing up the joint, and rather than leave with everyone else, they choose to take a mind-numbingly lunkheaded risk. I suppose without that one decision, there wouldn't have been much of a movie... but come on. I still rooted for them, but after that turning point I just couldn't identify with them.

P.S. The handheld camera thing almost made me hurl.
P.P.S. I was titillated by that Star Trek teaser. Ooooooooooooooooh!!!
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the bucket list

My regular movie partner (and roommate) Captain Crash took me to The Bucket List last night. I wasn't really that stoked to see it, and honestly it felt like I'd already seen 40% of the movie in previews. It started off with some serious déja vù: the movie opens in a desolate snowy landscape, with Morgan Freeman doing the voiceover. Now where had I seen that before?

The reviews were generally pretty spot-on; Jack Nicholson played Jack Nicholson, and Morgan Freeman played Morgan Freeman. Not a whole lot of acting. But the ending was exquisite.

Incidentally, if I see ONE MORE TRAILER for Vantage Point, I'm going to shove toothpicks under my fingernails, just to have something to distract me. Can you say ad nauseum???
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